Getting Anal about Coffee

Some of the best comedy straddles the thin line between hilarious and offensive/bad taste. Get it right, and you can be ‘that guy’ – referenced in the positive, carried out on the shoulders of cheering strangers way, as opposed to the slightly more negative, police line-up type.

Get it wrong, however, and you’re ‘that guy’ – the one no one wants to talk too as he keeps saying weird, offensive things (not weird, offensive jokes. Weird, offensive things).

So when it comes to a group of people you’ve only met a few hours before the Craigieburn Enduro (this is what an Enduro is by the way), it can be tricky to find the right tone. I’ll try and explain the set up as best I can, and you can decide for yourself:

Mr A was having a coffee, with the coffee supplied in a sort of tea bag delivery system.

Ian was not aware of the existence of such a thing.

Mr A confirmed such an existence and went on to mention that sometimes they can explode, covering your bag in coffee powder.

Mr B said that if it gets into your socks, it could act as a slow release system throughout the day.

Ian said yeah, much better than sticking it up your ass

(Just to clarify, it was in reference to a suppository system)

Now at this point, the table became distinctively divided. The laughing camp slapped their thighs, and for the next few seconds I was known as ‘that guy’.

Unfortunately, the silent, smiling politely / confused camp also began to refer to me as ‘that guy’.

The point is, is it better to have a laughing minority or a chuckling majority? Personally, few people seem to remember who I am anyway, so my default position is ‘that guy’ regardless. So I may as well go down swinging as I’ve got nothing to lose.

As for the race itself, I’ll cover it next week when enough time has passed for my legs to recover, the bruises to heal and the memory of the torturous climbs to fade.

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